Wtf dreams

Insane dream last night, and I literally just woke up and just HAVE to write about it before I forget.

The first dream was weird. I sort of remember something to do with uni, and uni friends being there, but I really, really can’t remember what it was. Then it sort of changed to something where I was in this dark area. Lots of green. Outside, as though in some Aztec jungle ruins, with platforms and water (I really don’t know why my dreams take on the form of Playstation games, but it reminded me of Crash Bandicoot crossed with TR!). Anyway, I’m almost certain friends are with me, and we’ve reached a point in our travels where we have to climb onto a square platform, and wait for this floating moving platform to reach us before we jump onto it and reach the other side. I, at this point, decide I couldn’t be bothered. I know something happens, I think animals appear, because the next sequence of the dream is about me looking after a little pet Hedgehog! The only significant thing about this Hedgehog is that I can cuddle it and stuff, as for some odd reason it isn’t prickly, but does have sort of spiky looking fur… Anyway. The part of my dream takes me into my kitchen where I’m trying to find a box I can put him in whilst I find something for him to eat. I proceed to put him in a small lunch box, and try to put on the lid, think better of it, and then give up, and just leave him to run on the counter top, where he finds a small cup with removed bits of cooked diced Onions, corn and something else and eats it. So I, next to a half eaten plate of dinner, see runner beans, so I take them off the plate and peel them open and add them to the pot for it to eat (I was going to find the Hedgehog cat food as apparently that’s what you leave out for them if you get Hedgehog’s in your garden). I then think, oh! I better get him something to drink, and then find a saucer and get some milk out of my fridge, but I decide the milk is cold, so I put the milk AND THE HEDGEHOG in the microwave. WHAT THE HELL!? Needless to say the cute hedgehog dies. lol. That’s wasn’t nice.

I woke up at this point because my ring on my finger was irritating me in my sleep and I was trying to get it off.

Next dream sequence was sort of two merged into one.

It started off standing outside in the street by a Station I always go to, except I’m not in the actual ring road that goes through the circular Station, but on the other side of the small shops, in the road where you can park. There is a small “Fancy Dress” shop there (it’s more dance clothes and other strange things as well as), and I enter, looking for a costume. This place, however, is huge as they’ve had a re-fit, and I stand there looking at a Batman t-shirt where the logo is purple. This tall blonde woman comes over and asks me if I’m okay, and tells me to come further into the shop. I look around, and there are loads of strange costumes hung up like clothes all over the place. Lots of frilly Tu-Tu’s in shimmery rainbow colours. Anyway, I notice this stand of what could be toys, but are actually costume accessories for the Characters from Beyblade, but not with the actual Beyblades but some sort of strange floating firespirit, and an “arm” fixture, to make the firespirit float. It was all very strange. Anyway, I go for Kai’s, as he’s my favourite, and I start to question if it’s his or something, so we open the box up and I laugh at the strange hand fixture (it’s like a long bit of dark blue plastic with three movable plastic bits at the end). Something happens here and they take over Kai’s Beyblade to one of those battle dome’s, but it’s not really, as it has moving plates, and little “buttons” that move around on it with the Character’s from Beyblade’s bit beasts pictures on them. Anyway, I release Kai’s beyblade and watch is go around landing on the other characters buttons, until it lands on Kai’s and the button launches it in the air to confirm it is Kai’s. That settles whatever dispute I had I go and buy the weird accessory. As I leave the shop, there is a strange smell in the air, and it is coming from this posh looking new Bar that has opened on the opposite side of the street. There are people sitting outside with coffee’s looking a bit bemused, and I squint in through the window, but it is too dark to see inside. All I can see is the light from the backlit tables behind the bar. I decide to venture in to see what is the problem, and go into the toilets. These toilets have bright pink stalls, and a dark marble floor. They are large, and set out in a backward L shape, the door being in the bottom bend of the L. Forwards, up the “back” of the L shape, are stalls, which are set on a small raised floor. The bottom part of the L, along with the door, isn’t, but has other stalls and then basins etc running in line with the door. There is a lot of commotion by the forward “raised” stalls in here, and a woman leaves the cubical looking a little worse for wear. Someone takes her out, but this isn’t the problem (and this is where it gets weird), but Eminem… has locked himself in a disabled cubical around the corner, claiming he won’t come out until someone brings him a Mother. What. The. Hell. All these women are crowded around outside, trying to get him to come out, and I decide to go over. He opens the door a crack and repeats what I already know “I’m not coming out until someone give me a Mom!”. I say nothing, hold out my hand, and nod my head, saying in no words that I can get him one. He takes my hand, wearily, and I lead him over to my own Mum who is standing by the door, watching, worried, from a distance. I introduce them, and he gives her a hug. I leave. This part is fuzzy. I remember something about being pissed off that he’s stolen my Mum when it was my fault they were introduced. The last part I remember is walking through the bar, which was very open plan. It was darkly lit, with again, dark marble flooring, a carpet/dark mat by the doors, the front of the shop all windows, and what wall space they had decorated a soft yellow. The main part of the bar was also on a raised step.

And that’s all I remember of my craaaaazy dreams!

Flying high in dreamland skies

I had a flying dream! I had it quite a while ago but I’ve only just found time to write about it.

The start is fuzzy. From what I recall I was in this area that looked, from my memory, a bit like an area in Whitechapel at night after it had been raining. Backstreet-ish, the ground damp, everywhere blue/purple from the moonlight, glistening orange from the streetlights. I’m with my Mum, and I’m telling her that I can fly, but for some reason I can’t get off the ground, but there is a hole that I can drop through, to a ledge below (for some strange reason this open space between buildings is floating?? Or a cliff edge, Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner style cliff, haha.  Sorta like a bit at the beginning of Floating Islands on TR:2, but not really). I try to fit down the hole but my hips are too wide and I can’t get through. The dream changes slightly, and I’m with friends (uni friends, although I can only place Ameena and Lone), it’s still slightly dark, but we are down a cobbled street rather than the dark backstreet, and get this… we are with Jonathan Ross and his wife! We then go into a tea shop, but it has no tables just stacks of boxes, and we’re all excited to be with him (as he seems to be with us!), and I then go on to show that I can fly, so I climb the boxes and jump off and manage to glide, skimming the floor before landing.

The dream them morphs again, and I’m looking at myself from out of my body. It’s set, and this is hard to explain, on some sort of metal structure. A bit like the gas dome things, but without the middle, just the metal girder frame, but in the middle is some sort of suspended floating thing, is a large piece of purple rock with a flattened top, like a platform. This is where I, and two others, are kneeling, head and hands on the floor (like we are bowing) to someone in a black cloak (they are evil presumably). Something in my dream tells me it’s like a Disney film (some Disney film! But the cartoon (as everything is cartoon, obviously) is more like the animation for Anastasia). ANYWAY. We (the three of us), have lost against this evil person, and then suddenly the floor falls away and the two people behind me fall to their death, although instead of actually dying, they start to circulate the metal structure, around and around, along with the broken bits of purple rock. The evil guy flies off and suddenly I’m flying around in a circle around this weird place (a bit like those round-a-bout swing things at fun fairs, but obviously it’s just me flying singularly). Each time I try to land the floor falls away and I’m off flying again, and so this is my demise. Like a seal has to come up for air, I have to land, and so eventually all the floor falls away…

Then suddenly this area is a FILM SET! I’m strapped into a harness (from my point of view) pissing around, swinging around, and the other two good guys are there… ONE OF THEM IS JACKSON RATHBONE! SCORE.

End dream

Vampire Dreams

In brief, my dream started off out shopping with my Mum. We were in H&M and there were loads of people walking around playing hand held games. It was like a craze and I wanted one. So we looked everywhere around H&M, and went downstairs where I got distracted by slogan t-shirts (and particularly one with Ghost Rider on it).

Dream morphs and I’m in my house. It’s a sunny day and I’m in my garden, except my garden looks different. The side fences are there but the back fence isn’t, instead it’s open and there is a forest of some sorts there. I’m at the back top of my garden before the fold of trees and I’m with people, who I can’t properly identify but I know are vampires. There is something significant about what is happening. I look through the trees looking for something. A waterfall? And take pictures, but the pictures are of large tree roots and broken trees. I’m not sitting on the grass with the vampires and my Dad comes up to his shed, smiles at me and gets something from inside, but things are hanging up in there, like merchandise in a shop. No garden tools. Next I quickly go into my house for something, and the next instant I look out my window and everywhere is covered in snow. I look down to the garden to see my parents outside and my brother, who is shoveling snow off the path.
Next I’m at my front door, but it’s sunny again, hot, (I’m in summer clothes, a loose blouse and rolled up trousers) and my parents and brother are going out (there is still thick snow, but on my doorstep, around me, is like summer). I wave them off, and my Mum asks if I have my keys. I says yes, but shut the front door. Laugh and say “silly me! I’ve shut myself out! They keys are inside!” so my Mum has to come back over from the car to let me in.

Then I woke.

Like A Map Without Place Names

Well, it felt nice not having to do those newspapers by myself, but I don’t know, I think I was expecting more from my day off. It was nice to “sleep in”, but I was awake by 9 o’clock anyway. I got the chance to see my Nan whom I haven’t seen for a while.

I… felt a bit pants the other day. Emotionally, it seems things have been building up inside of me. I’m glad I was on my own when they ran out of space =\
It’s just, I’ve come to realise, that everything has become an effort. I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed in the morning anymore. I lay there, wanting to turn over and sleep my time away, so I don’t have to face the day. I’ve not felt like that in a while. I worry about what will happen in the day, and just give up before I’ve even bothered to face it.
I can’t really describe in so many words exactly how I feel. Vulnerable, mostly. I don’t take things as lighthearted as I used to. And I frequently revisit this feeling that I need to be looked after. My inner self is small and cowering.
I don’t feel as secure as I used to. This year has been such a whirlwind for me socially, and don’t get me wrong I’m even impressed myself that I’m not as much of a social reject as I used to be. I’ve grown up! How about that?! But although I know I should be enjoying myself, I can’t seem to. I have a fricking awesome time at Innerpartysystem. I really needed something like that since my last concert was Nightwish over 4 years ago… But even after that this horrible, horrible feeling loomed over my head and refused to let me fully enjoy myself.
I want to be happy, but something internally isn’t let me and I don’t what it is, or why or how I can stop it.
So when I try I just seem to be looking forwards and upwards and be walking up a down escalator.

I always imagine this hand tapping me on the shoulder and I look up and they take my small hand in their warm big one and pull me up off the floor and with it this metaphorical shroud of problems falls off my shoulders and is left on the floor as I’m guided away…

Gads. How do I stop the constriction in my chest? How do I stop me from living inside my head? How do I stop myself from being such an easy target? How do I make myself strong again? How can I let myself be happy?
How?

What is the way forwards?

Do you ever feel like you’re being held back? Like, you’re really struggling to move forwards? You can easily point the blame at anything and anyone for the reason you’re still stuck in the boring miserable position you’re still in, but really, the only person who is holding yourself back is yourself.

Drama dreams

I’m not really sure where this dream starts off, but I remember being in a strange version of my bedroom, but back when it had two beds in it. Anyway, I’m there with a friend (female, but I can’t put a face to the name). I’m also there with some hot dude who keeps cuddling up to me (score!). Anyway, after some lounging around, I go over to the window where there are these string vest tops handing up on the wall (all the same but different sizes), and I go to find my size (like a shop) but they had a size nine (which totally doesn’t exist) and a ten. I hold it up against me to see if it will fit/look nice and the dude comes over and leans on my shoulder telling me it will look nice. The dream sort of morphs again and it’s night time, and I’m walking home with the dude. We reach these traffic lights (that are in my town) and he goes off one way and I continue across the road where this is this cat. It starts to meow at me so I scratch it behind the ears, and then a small kitten comes bounding out of nowhere. Strangely… the cats can talk, and I find out they are homeless, that the mother had other babies but they didn’t make it. So I take them in my arms and continue home, but as I’m walking down this road there are two men there who try to stop me telling me those cats are theirs, but the cats are scared so I start to run away from them. The dream sort of morphs again and I’m “home” (though it looks nothing like my house) to find that I’m imprisoned there. I’d obviously been caught by those men.
Anyway, I run downstairs and out into the garden but stop, as there is some sort of ceremony set up. There is a sort of “stage” with lots of flowers bordering it, and people dressed in black. All the people look at me and someone comes over looking very solemn, but I have no idea why. They put an arm around me and tell me how upset I must be that “my love” had died. So I start to pretend cry and they take me back inside and I ask to be alone.
In the front room are all these boxes and I secretly start to go through them and find a pistol. I take it out and use it to escape. I run outside, and all these people try to stop me, so I fire the pistol at them, but this dart thing comes out (sort of like a poison dart I guess) and I manage to get down to the street where this huge lorry is parked and the two men from before are there. However at this point I stop because they have proper guns. I fire my darts at them but they don’t seem to work as before, but I get the chance to steal one of the guys guns and I fire it at them, but it fires out a stream of pins that although hit and stick in them, don’t really do anything.

Then I woke up!

Random dream! Esp. with the talking cats…

Liquid dreams

This dream starts off in a very large version of my house. I’m in my bathroom, but it’s more like a social gathering place – there are people here, sitting around talking, but most specifically I’m talking to Ameena and T, who are in turn talking to Eric (uni guy – never actually spoken to him, doubt he knows who I am!). At this point I remember nudging Ameena to ask Eric if it’s him in that Virgin Atlantic advert (I’m convinced it’s him). He turns to me and asks me to make him a Lemon and Honey drink (the type with Glycerin my Mum used to force me to drink when I was younger if I had a cold – naaaaaasty stuff), however I don’t know how to make it, but offer him Honey and Lemon throat sweets until I can make the drink, to which he excepts. So I go downstairs to my kitchen and make for the “medical draw” but when I open it’s nearly empty, aside from a few empty pill boxes and… randomly… some lemons. So I decide to start making the drink, and use one of those old school manual lemon squeezers, but loads of bits and pips fall in with the juice. So I turn to putting on the kettle (as I’m sure boiling water is involved somewhere) and go to the cupboard to find some honey but don’t have any. At this point I start to get annoyed, and Ameena comes down so I ask for her help, but she doesn’t know what to do either.

Dream morphs, and I am now at my local swimming pool. There is no-one else in the pool, but look like they are all leaving for the changing rooms. I’m in the shallow end, walking towards the edge, when my Mum (who is in the stands with other parents who stay to watch) shouts “she’s the best swimmer!” and I feel the necessary urge to dive underwater and swim along the bottom. However, as I am doing so, this trolley thing clamps over me, and it’s some old woman (who is in the pool?!) and her weird shopping basket/trolley thing. Anyway. I break free and finally make my way to the changing rooms. However I don’t know which locker my stuff is in. I do, somehow, have my empty bag and a towel around me, so I start looking for a locker for my empty bag. My Mum arrives at this point, and I spot my bra on this bench/peg thing in the middle of the changing rooms and go for it. At first I pick up the wrong one, and then grab mine, but when I go to take it, through the wooden seat, some kids are holding onto it. When I try to yank it from their grip, the whole right arm thing rips away from the cup! I get annoyed and am about to launch at one of them, when my Mum steps in saying it’s okay, she knows who they are, and then proceeds to show the parents of the children, the children’s work books from school that are covered in Graffiti (this then gets them in trouble).
Dream morphs and I am clothed and outside with my Mum looking for the car (I have a jumper on without a bra, discomfort is quite significant). As we go into the overflow, this massive jeep comes crashing across it (the floor is covered in ice), crashes into a fence, bounced back, then falls, submerged, into this massive water filled crater. My Mum and I rush over in time to see the couple pull themselves out (and their kid). I look to my right, and there is a large lime green lizzard looking at me (wtf).

I wake up.