Just one of those days.

That little quote that was put in MUD Mag couldn’t mean more to me than I thought. You really don’t realise how good the day before was until the next day. Which will be too late to go back to. But then everyone has bad days right? I’ve suffered days like this before, I can get through it, can’t I?

I got shock news when I found out that a family friend, my Nans next door neighbour passed away suddenly today from a massive heart attack. It’s taken me by surprise, which is bad enough, but I’m worried about my Nan. She gets herself in a state about most things, but this time of year has never been “merry” for her ever since my Grandad passed away. She was very close to her neighbour. I don’t want anything to happen to her.

I don’t think my mind will properly be in work tomorrow. I doubt I’ll get much sleep as there are kids in the house that don’t seem to appreciate sleep. Plus some idiot was stealing stuff from the clothes cage at work so now it has to be locked all the time like the rest of the GM cages, but instead of leaving the key on the cage key keychain with the others, the clothing key is locked away in the managers office in the managers key box. So I waste time getting the key to the box from the manager (which is a task within itself findig the manager, and not an enjoyable one when said manager is a grumpy git), go to the managers office to retrieve the clothing key and then go and find the manager again to give the key back. Repeat when going off duty. I may just suggest leaving it on the GM cage keys. It makes so much more sense that way. I hope newspapers are busy tomorrow, then I can avoid doing clothing. Or hope that one of the good managers are in. Blargh. It’s going to be a long day.

I would like a hug

What could have been.

I woke up from a dream that seemed to be pretty packed with meandering events. I really can’t remember what happened, and will take one heck of a trigger for me to remember it all, the only part I do remember is being on a laptop computer and my stereo turning on to wake me up. It took a while for me to realise that I was in bed, not in fact on a laptop. I wish I could remember. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good meaty dream to update about. It’s my “one day weekend” tomorrw. Yay me!

I think I upset my Mum earlier. Not intentionally, I was just telling her of all the things the newspapers reported that those “people” did to Baby P. She’s a real lover of children, and it upset her.
Poor soul. It’s upsetting that his short life here was a terrible one. Where do monsters like that come from? Why do people and the world let monsters like that form? According to the article in The Sun, they were cleared of Murder charges. Because they blamed each other. It’s sick. So many people were involved. So many people could have stopped it. How did actions like that, injuries such as his, cries out for help like those, go so unnoticed? What is the point in having a voice if you are never to be heard? At the cost of a small child, it took the world to see the unbalance in authority. I’m just so glad he isn’t suffering anymore. I hope he is in a much better place.

Help.

There is this key I’m looking for. I don’t know what it looks like, I’ve not seen it, but all I know is that when put in the right keyhole, turn it the right way, it will switch off how I’m feeling right now. If you find it. Please let me know. Thank you.

Sigh.

Was it me you mentioned?

“Structure” – Innerpartysystem

Why did you change?
Why did you bend and break?
When the water turns to wine,
did it feel the same?

Why did you change?
Why did you bend and break?
When the water turns to wine,
it never…

You suck the bottle dry
Touch fingers to the night
Feels like I’ve been here before

Now theres an empty hole
Where you were long ago
Things are different when you’re young

Why did you change?
Why did you bend and break?
When the water turns to wine
did it feel the same?

Why did you change
why did you bend and break
when the water turns to wine
it never feels the same

the nights are getting cold
those faces growing old
there is nothing you can do

so sing your sad excuses
you’ve got the scars to prove it
and i’m sure they’ll sing along

Why did you change
why did you bend and break
when the water turns to wine
did it feel the same?

Why did you change
why did you bend and break
when the water turns to wine
never feels the same

it never.. feels the same
it never.. feels the same

Why did you change
why did you bend and break
when the water turns to wine
did it feel the same

Why did you change
why did you bend and break
when the water turns to wine
it never…
when the water turns to wine
it never feels the same

I love the song, and the words speak to me. On a strong note.

I had a dream last night. Teeheehee. But I’m not going to tell you! It was embarrassing *^.^*

Open My Eyes.

I feel very out of touch with myself. Like, I duno, that I’m not me anymore? I feel I’ve changed a lot. I don’t know if it’s good, or if I actually have, but I feel like I have. I’ve become obsessed by how things are perceived. Oh I don’t know! I just feel like something isn’t right. And I don’t feel like I’m particularly proud of myself. Not that I went around before smelling my own shit, but I mean, you know, I was who I was. Now I feel like I’m worried about who I am to suit others. Like I’ve been so worried about pleasing probably the wrong people that I forgot to make a restore point so I could go back to remembering who I was before the viruses came to infect me. Whoa, bad comparison (although it’s techy, so I can shamelessly plug two of my favourite shows that are coming back to C4 next week, The Big Bang Theory and the IT crowd!! Yay!).

Blargh. I don’t know. I feel like I’m on auto-pilot. Program what you want me to do and I’ll do it. Psh. I’ll jump, I’ll bark, I’ll run out in front of a bus. Meet the amazing Suz, living without a backbone! *Ooooh! Ahhhh!*

-_-”"

Man, am I bored.

I don’t have any new dreams to update on, only that I had one the other night about losing my teeth… again. I miss all the exciting melodramatic dreams!! Either my mind is dormant or it hasn’t got anything to draw inspiration from/have much of an imagination at the moment.

I’m currently sitting in the computer room bored out of my big heads tiny brain whilst others around me work. I did some this morning, but they make me feel like I’ve done nothing at all!! It’s so hot as well!! And I’m bored! And I want to go :’(

Fireworks tonight! Yay!

Elkin is sitting next to me watching shitty videos!!!!!