Windows Live Messenger = Fail.

For some odd reason Windows Live Messenger (version 2008 ) doesn’t quite work for me. Or at least not on my user log in on my home computer. Each time I try to log in I get the error code 80048820 and extended error code 80048418. I followed all the help things from Windows Live Help, but still I couldn’t sign in. I even emailed people who emailed me through a process until their final answer was “you’ll have to re-load everything back onto your computer”. Are you serious? 6-7 years worth of crap accumilated to back-up just for messenger? So I’ve been using normal Windows messenger (core version that came with the computer when we got it), for the past two months or so.

Today, however, when I signed on, it actually logged me in! I was elated! Till when I came on the computer later in the evening and it came back up with the error codes. I don’t know what else to do to get it working properly again, or what exactly happened to make it work.

I’m hoping this gets spotted by someone who can help me!

I have a question.

Q: Would “The Dark Knight” be as popular as it is if Heath Ledger was still alive?

Food for the soul.

Damn it. I’ve been trying to connect to the internet for the past ten minutes and it hasn’t worked. So it seems a little feeble that this entry will be seriously delayed, having been ‘rashed typed in Word and posted hours later.
I’m currently hiding under my duvet to distract any attention to light that might hinder family members if they so decide to visit the toilet. It’s stifling under here. Not just because it’s oppressive weather, and that a thick duvet really isn’t helping, but my laptop can emit it’s own fair amount of heat.
Anyway, my laptop seemed to disconnect from the net earlier in the evening I didn’t bother to try and get back on (and to those I was talking to – many an apology). It seems that whatever stopped the connection is still on going.
I should be asleep. I can’t sleep. I went to bed with the thought that I wasn’t going to sleep. I tried reading. I’ve tried listening to music, but then music seemed to change my mood drastically, and I suddenly wanted somewhere to talk. Not in the literal sense of course. A song came onto my MP3 player. Not a significant song of sorts, but one I value, as it kept me company during my lone parental trip to Ireland many years ago, and just because it evokes a strong feeling within me. Tonight, it seemed, the feeling became slightly overwhelming and I couldn’t bare it.
I keep slipping into heavy day dreams recently and it’s hard to pull myself out of them. I seem to get myself mixed between what’s real and intangible and what’s imaginary and controllable. In certain aspects that helps me structure scenes for my story I’m working on, so long as the intense day dream is about that. In others, it doesn’t help me at all.
I used to love listening to music but now that seems to be to hard. I hate how music can associate itself with a time or a place, a memory, a feeling, event, or person. An album I once liked listening to became too attached to a low point in my life it took me a while to disassociate the two. Listening the album became an almost painful experience.
It’s annoying, and I really hope this never happens to some of my favourite songs.
Okay, it’s getting too hot now. I don’t want my laptop to overheat.

Well. I wasn’t expecting that.

Not exactly what I wanted to see when I came to visit WordPress… clicketyclick.

Save Tonight.

I had a strange series of dreaming last night.

The first was set in what I can roughly remember as being a town, like an old town, a bit like York or Cambridge. After a lot of shmoozing around I come back home with my friend and Lennie Kravitz is there. And he’s all like, “here”, and comes in with all these presents for me (turns out he likes me, wtf) and then it moves on. Then there’s this one bit where he’s all like, “lets go up stairs”, and I’m like, “but I hardly know you”, and so he ups and leaves.

The next part of my dream is still set in my house. It starts off by me looking at these pictures and they are of Harry Potter characters, and I have to work out who they are. Then I’m on the second set of stairs and Lucias Malfoy is there, but he looks a lot like Spike from Buffy. There’s all this “tension” then I wake up. It was all very strange.

Hole in the head.

I’m a bit effin annoyed.
Little things, it seems, like to gang up on me in one go and make little things seem like really big annoying things that just need to be stopped. Like my hair, for instance, which has taken to flopping into my face, blinding me and poking me in my eyes when I really, really need to see. I’ve been raging for a week about having my fringe put back in, but deliberating over whether or not I go to my normal hairdresser which charges a bomb and can’t cut my hair, or take a risk finding somewhere cheaper and maybe/maybe not liking what they do. I’m at the point of ripping my hair out, or cutting a fringe myself, so I’ll probably be better off going to my normal hairdresser and most probably coming out disappointed (if that’s the case). However, after mulling it over, I’ve decided to just shmooze around and find a good hairdresser from reference and wait till then. So I told my Mum this, who had to, just effin had to turn around and be all “I doubt you’ll find one” and just tip me over the edge with her “I’m right, you’re dirt I just stepped in” attitude towards what she thinks she knows. If I tell her something that I know for sure is right she gets shirty with me telling me I’m not always right, but fuck me, talk about zapping away moral and hope!

So now I’m in a bad mood, bashing away at the computer keys, writing to take my mind off how much she knows how to annoy me at the wrong moments.

And to think it was only yesterday that I was having a brilliant time talking wedding plans with my brothers fiancee!

Gargh. And people wonder why I live inside my head.
Where the hell is people anyway?!

Baby’s got the blues.

Sometimes I hate being a woman. I don’t know if how I’m feeling is legitimate or… you know… hormonal. I felt miserable yesterday, although I spent most of it in bed reading Harry Potter again, and I feel just as miserable today, as well as sick, tired, and a little bit frustrated. I read some more HP, had a mad moment when I just had to bake biscuits (although they are “soft” biscuits this time), and now I’m failing at writing, as well as turning a long sleeved top into a t-shirt (but failing with that too).

Now I’m stuck here, because all my talents that have kept me entertained were used on mass and it was overkill, and now I’m unable to do either successfully.

I’m on a HP high, reading is alright, but I really, really want to watch all the movies and the new one which isn’t out until November. I wanted to find a good Rupert Grint community on LJ but instead found some really, REALLY, dodgy slash ones that added to me feeling sick. Oh, btw, Rupert Grint is my new love. He’s my age. Cough.

I’ve only really got a few “major” events to look forward to. Tomorrow, Wednesday, then Tuesday and Wednesday the week after. What the heck am I going to do after that!? All I can think about is getting an effin job. I don’t like people talking to me about finding one for me as it makes me feel uncomfortable and a little trapped. A bit like a cornered animal. My friend told me to go for receptionist jobs locally, but I wouldn’t benefit from spending time learning, then “Oh hey, yeah, I’m like, leaving now… I’ve got uni”. Wouldn’t be worth it!

I only like sleeping and day dreaming now. Except I get funny looks and disturbed peace if I sit there looking like my brain just melted out of my nose. Holy cow poo. I even started playing the first ever Grand Theft Auto! It’s a pile of colourful pixelated bird shit!!!!!

Gargh.

Excuse me while I go eat my cake biscuits ¬__¬”"”"”"

Bollocks. Just, bollocks.

I am back.

I am back because of two things, I am bored, and I had a dream last night that I feel is too silly to post in my LJ “creative” blog so I’ll use this where no-one reads.

I can’t remember the dream clearly, just that I was with “Peter” from Heroes, and someone else, and we were running away from something (presumably “the company”). It really wasn’t much more then that, except a hospital was in it, and streets. Felt epic though, as though it was going on for ages.

I had one the other night, it was weird, scary almost, but not a nightmare. I was sort of in the BB house, with two guys and a girl, and basically we were being shipped out of there because one of the bloke housemates had got drunk on this drink called a (excuse the spelling) Jager Bomb and had died (messily) whilst in the house. I felt scared because of this idea of someone dying by “overdose” right near me in such a close proximity. And I really wanted one of the other housemates to comfort me.

Anyway, in other news I’m really feeling, I don’t know, at a loss with my time. I’m annoyed at myself for literally becoming poor, squandering all the money I had in my account, and now I can’t go out, I can’t find a job and I feel like a complete loser and a bum wasting my life away in my room doing jack shit. I’m not friends with myself at the moment. I need to get out of my house. For months now I feel nothing but bad karma within these walls. It’s like being trapped in a box. But there is nowhere to go that doesn’t fucking cost money. You can’t sit in a coffee shop with people and just chat anymore, cos you either have to buy coffee or you friends would rather go clubbing or something. The weather is shit as well. Argh, fuck sake. I feel so lonely