Butterflies and Cyclones

Do you think dreams can predict what might possibly happen in a future event? Or is it merely a blur of images as your brain plays out a twisted metaphor of it think’s might happen? I think maybe I’m reading into things to much. And possibly taking my Dreamers Dictionary too seriously.

At the moment though I do feel like a butterfly struggling against the mighty wind of a cyclone. Just as battered and tired, emotionally warn out and in need a some R and R. Yet I know the only way my body and mind can get through this is to ignore it and keep on working like it was never there. The more I think about it the more it circulates my mind and the more I make myself unhappy and confused and in need of answers but come back to the same conclusion; the only way I can get my answer is if I seek it out myself. And the problem is that I don’t have the confidence to do it. Either I’m a coward or too selfless, as this answer seeking involves more than just one, and one of them is headed for a great fall. Or I might be surprised. I don’t know. I’ll never know until I peruse to know. I don’t do selfish. Yet, I need to be selfish or I will continue to feel the way I do and continue to be walked on and fell like this balance is slightly tilting in the other persons favor. I’m stuck between what is right and my heart.

What do I do?

Costume Playtimes

I can’t express how much I LOVE fancy dress. I’m no fashion student and I only have a little confidence to go out in really daring clothing, but aaaaaaaah, fancy dress really hits the spot. It’s like drinking a cup of tea whilst slouching down on a nice comfy sofa after a really long day. It’s like that first bite of food when you’ve had nothing to eat all day. It’s like that unexplainable comfort when your head just melts into a pillow. It’s like waking up feeling refreshed, happy and the sun is shining outside.
I think you get how much I like it.

But what also adds to that little bit of bliss from the smallest of things, discovering a new and local place that can fuel your secret obsession! As what I did today, when friends and myself found a little gem of a costume shop. What would have made it a slightly more pleasing experience would have been finding a belt and thigh gun holster imitation, but alas, I did not.
Also, thanks to coming out today, and although not finding anything there, I have found myself regrading charity shops in a new light, and also thankful that the main highstreet where I live is positivly full of them. Good times.

The rain has a way of dampening my spirits

Yes, that’s right. It’s raining. Typical bloomin’ English weather.
It’s dull, depressing, and the rain is falling in sheets.

Luckily, however, I’m at home with no intention of leaving. Sadly, I’m on my own, trying to complete a powerpoint presentation which is a critical evalutation of my work for my JCM1000 module. It would be nice if some of my friends were online so I could talk to them as I endevour to complete this task, but alas, no one is.

There is now an eerie orange glow outside, which from my experience usually means it’s going to thunder, which isn’t cool, man! I hate thunderstorms, and I hate them more than I don’t have anyone to scream/gasp at when electric blue lightening flashes across my house. Guh.

Yet maybe I have spoken to soon. It’s stopped. But it’s still dark, I’m still alone and I still am slightly stumped about what to write for this presentation! Damn it.

Where is everyone?!

Brain dead

I sneezed and gave myself a headache. How the hell do you sneeze and give yourself a headache?!

Normally I would talk about something interesting that has happened to me today, but the only excitement was washing my hair and getting rid of all the shit, fuel, grease and whatever crap snow carries, from over the past few days. I know what you are thinking. “That’s well manky that is”, well, screw you. I have set days I wash my hair and I totally rock the grunge look.

In other news I’m well excited about going all Sixties Mod for this uni party a week thursday. Hopefully it will be ace, I feel the need to party on down with my uni friends. In fact I’ve felt like I’ve really needed just my friends around me recently. I had a proper day out with my good buddies on friday last week. I think it was the first in a long time since everyone was away at uni that we got together and had fun like the good old days, and I really, really enjoyed myself and really noticed how relaxed I was afterwards.

Now I’m going to go. Headache’s got a little worse…

Great things, these cell phones

So I know the films been out years, but Cellular was on C4 last night and W-O-W. In fact, regular TV had on some pretty good stuff this Easter weekend, an even better choice than what they put on at Christmas! (Lets face it, we’ve had enough of the LOTR and Harry Potter re-runs, give us something new damn it!).

Ranked out of the three new-ish films I saw, these were where they came in:

1. Cellular (and not just because Chris Evans makes me feel all woman ;P)
2. Day After Tomorrow (watch out Chris, me thinks I have a soft spot for Jake Gyllenhal!)
and finally 3. Big Fish.

Okay so Cellular, woman gets kidnapped and uses a broken phone to get through to Ryan (Chris Evans) who spends the whole running-time dodging death, being a compelete DUDE, racing around in stolen cars, keeping a phone call connected, using a gun to his advantage (but politely, of course), and being a hot sexy hero. For all you guys out there, you get to see lots of pretty ladies in very small bikini’s. It swings both ways Plot sounds pretty basic, but the acting is flawless and tension runs ripe throughout. It’s a very “will he, won’t he” film that keeps you guessing with new twists that make you suck air through your teeth and curl your toes. At least that’s what my mum was doing, as well as subconciously gripping her mouth tightly and telling me constantly that her heart was beating fast (sure it wasn’t a hot flush, love?). I thought it was brilliant. Ashamed I waited so long to see it!

Big Fish then. A complex film to explain, but charming and loveable. Edward Bloom is a man who has spent much of his older life telling great and elaborate stories of his past, up to the point that his son Will is sick of hearing them, and the “lies” he uses to exaggerate. Upon hearing that his father is slowly dying, Will and his wife return home so that Will can seek out the truth to his fathers fantastical stories. This film is split between present day and flashback retold “stories” of Edwards younger and adventurous life. The present day bit may leave your mouth slightly sour, as all it does is remind us of how much Will despises his fathers charm and love for retelling the adventures of his life. It is Ewan McGregor’s portrayal of young Edward in the flashback stories that will keep you hooked, as they show nothing less of Tim Burton’s eloquent charm and individual cinema. It’s is truely a charming and heart warming little film.

Day After Tomorrow was probably an unlikely favourite of mine. It’s just another generic hollywood lets-use-as-many-special-effects-to-cause-drama kind of film, but it did it for me. Although it lacked something in some places, there were enough thrills and technical know-how to make it a convincing story. It left me feeling cold to say the least, and considering I’m campaining to bring awareness about Global Warming, it hit the spot.

I’m not a movie buff, but something tells me films are almost as popular as my music now!

Comfusing Technicaligy

It’s hard to keep up three blogs. I paniced and stopped using this one after Andrea mentioned in a seminar that people were using them for personal use. He said “that’s okay” but clearly he wasn’t expecting it. So I stopped using it for random ramblings. Except I return now because he created a group blog where all module related posts can be in one area by all of us, without him having to constantly sift through individual blog pages.

So what the hell do I use this for?! I’ve got two Live Journals, one is just like a personal diary, where I just ramble about feelings, anything, and my day (which is kept to a limited friends list – I don’t like sharing everything with the world), the other a place to post odd journalistic style pieces so I can practise and get feedback. I re-started my MySpace one, simply because I wanted somewhere to post public but with random things I felt interesting enough to post about, and now I need to think of something good to post here!!!

I’m an over-the-internet-attention-whore. I’ll admit it I’m slightly obsessive over the facebook group I created, annoyed that there isn’t masses updated or added to by members each day. So I’ve now been reduced to blogging, which of course (and I’m having to write about) seems to be the new internet and media advancement sensation that everyone is doing. I remember when LJ used to be THE blogging site. It was the basis and place for all fanfiction writers to go as it’s features were easy and good to use, except now there are millions of blogs, and if you want to get heard you have to carefully research the best ones to use.
I remember when MySpace was THE place to get noticed, now no-one uses it. I keenly anticipate the day Facebook create a default blog application for it’s users. All hell would break loose! It would be amazing!
I also remember when nearly everyone in my year at school (year 10-11) had a FreeWebs webpage. They were utter shit. All the chavvy girls had bright ugly pink ones about themselves, but I will never forget the trouble annonymous guestbook posting caused. How sad people were back then.

Mind you, not much has changed. Facebook is still just as show-offy if not a little more public about EVERYTHING. The news feed lets you know what someone is doing in that excact moment. I mean soon we will have computer chips inside of us and Facebook would announce when someone has just gone to the toilet. Think about it!

Now I like internet attention but I don’t think I crave it THAT much.

:S