Tourist.

I think this has to be one of the most poignant dreams I’ve had in a while! Sucks that it’s taken so long for me to get to somewhere to write it down, hopefully whilst I do I’ll remember more of it.

I can’t remember where it “starts”, but the earliest scenes, if you will, are set around a lot of people. It almost feels like I’m out on a school field trip. The area reminds me of the shopping place below Canary Wharf, but the shops are rooms. Anyway, Tom is there, but he doesn’t have his mohawk, but his old hair, and although I know who he is, I don’t properly know him in my dream. It’s weird! Anyway, we enter this room and there are people sitting on the floor as if watching someone who is talking, and he turns and smiles at me and points to someone in the room, but I don’t know who the person is.

The next part sort of changes, and I’m in a cottage, but as though the field trip has moved on. Tom isn’t there anymore, and there are less people. For some strange reason it feels like Pride and Prejudice. The cottage is set within an Orchard, I remember something significant about apple. We’re (as I’m with some women) are wearing long dresses (the “old” layered kind), blue and white stripes with aprons and straw bonnets. We’re in the kitchen and Kiera Knightley’s fella (as the character from Pride and Prejudice) is there talking to one of the women. The dream sort of moves from here, and we leave through the kitchen door, but I’m back to how I was dressed before (lots of black – I believe I’m quite “goth”). The area I’m in now sort of looks like docks, but it’s dark, and I’m lagging behind the rest of the group. Steven (old friend, not seen in a while) is there and he’s waiting for me, but these docks have a break in it and I remember jumping over the gap but landing on the edge and having to scramble up. I follow the docks along (its like a wooden walkway over the water) as I can see the group ahead of me. The scenes here are a bit shady, but I do remember the next scene. After I’ve caught up with the group we turn into a room and the girl who is singing for us in the Eurovision is all dressed up in black and silver with goth make-up, on some high steal stairs with Charlie Brooks, and they start singing the song for Eurovision (except it isn’t really), and it’s like Britain’s Got Talent, because if the acts suck and the audience doesn’t like them they get stopped, but they keep singing and the song gets really good and the audience loves them.

At this point I wake up.

Boot-iful

SUCH a random dream last night! I only wish I had time to post it before I went to work as I can’t remember the smooth runnings of it! Only bits and pieces here and there!

But generally, it looked like it was set in (sort of) my uni campus, but more buildings that looked like The Mansion, and the swimming pool wasn’t surrounded by a fence, was closer to the building and was raised as opposed to in a dip. An old school friend was the main focus, but for some reason this dream felt like I was taking part in an episode of Even Stevens! Anyway, the big deal about this dream had something to do with my New Rocks being stolen by this old school friend, and something to do with radio, tricking him and getting them back. It was all very strange! I wish I could remember it perfectly!

Where have you been?!

Yes, yes, I know it’s been a while since I last updated! Well in all honesty I haven’t been dreaming that much, until about a week ago, when all my dreams came at once, and each night, and because I haven’t had time to type them up I’ve forgotten half of them, sadly.

I remember one dream containing “santa” the uni bus driver, who was actually driving a big red bus, who was willing to act like a cab, and drop myself, Ameena and some other girl to our desired destinations. The other girl lived through this thicket (is that the right word?) of trees, to a place that sort of looked like… I duno. Parts of Chase Farm for some reason. I don’t remember much more of that.

I know I’ve had other dreams but I can’t remember them.

Ahh. I’m listening to a chooooon.

“You’re the closest to heaven that I’ve ever been…”

Who watches the dreamer?

Double post catch up!

I went and saw Watchmen recently, and had a dream based on one of the scenes from the film (don’t worry, there is no spoiler, but if you’ve seen the film you can see the very, very, very slight resemblance to one scene – and no, it’s not that one, you dirty bastards!).

Dream One:

The beginning is very strange. I’m not seeing through my eyes, but a scene unfolds. It’s about a little girl in a very sunny, and flowery front garden of this large cottage-like building. She’s playing with a friend, who gets led away, but a woman comes to take her, and leads her off in a different direction.

I’m now in my own body, in a desert like plain. The sun is high in the sky. I’m standing in front of one of those typically menacing looking “evil” factory type buildings you have in villan films. The building is sort of off in the distance, as before it (and I can only draw similariest to the pictures of the Taj Mahal) has this extremely long, rectangle strip of tarmac running up to the entrance (which is like, one of those big steel security doors the hero is always running to slide under as it auto-shuts when someone sets off the emergencey alarm in films, haha). Except (unlike the very pretty and pictureesque Taj Mahal), there are these gun cannon things in sync along this long “runway” looking tarmac thing. I’m standing at the end, and suddenly, in something you’d NEVER see me do, I start to run along the outside of the left hand gun cannons, barrel rolling and everything, till I stop at a little manhole type cover, that reveals a massive circuit board and loads of wires. Out come the scissors, and I’m ripping out all the wires which disables the gun cannons! Ameena, Temoor and Elkin are with me, and start to catch up, running to the entrance, but the entrance opens and these MP type S.W.A.T people run out (naturally we kick their ass). Run inside, and we’re in like this massive factory type thing. Our mission is to find the little girl as she has been kidnapped. I look to my left and see a small metal step-ladder on the wall that leads to one of those metal “floor” things. I start to climb (the ladder is inside a plastic see0through tube) and one of the S.W.A.T people throws a canister down which contains knock out gas, so I pass out.

I wake up in my bedroom. My Mum is there. I start to panic, but she tells me our mission was successful, and passes me the local paper where Temoor had written the front page news, a revealing story about this “secret” organisation and how we saved the girl! Fantastic!

And I wake up!

Second dream:

Before I start, I’d just like to say, that however much I love TR, I’m not obsessed. My dreams seem to take on some sort of RPG style gaming experience sometimes, and TR is my one and only, so it’s the only reference

I don’t really remember the start of this much. The bit I do remember from, and I’m at uni, and just miss someone getting on the bus. I think time passes, and someone else from uni comes up to me and we start talking. The bus comes around again (the wrong way) and the person I just missed gets off, and reveals that they have had a haircut. I am shocked.

Then my dream changes, and I feel like I’m inside a game. Someone has selected a hidden, extremely hard boss level (I’m the character, but I’m not controlled… if you get what I mean? It’s all very strange). It’s sort of Egyptian styled. Anyway, the level loads when the wall lifts up and there is this fat ugly looking HUGE beetle that starts to run after me. So I run back (towards the “camera” – if it were a game!), and turn a corner as the Beetle misses me turn. Another wall lifts up to reveal a circular room where Chomp (wtf?) is face up in the middle of the room, but half sunk in. I daren’t go over, but someone (as though my subconscious controlling me playing the game has a friend watching) tells me I can pick it up. So I do. It’s a bouncy ball, that if thrown at the beetle, will make me clear the level!

My radio went off at this point. SO STRANGE.

Why are you running away?

I keep lagging in remembering to post about what dreams I’ve had. I know I’ve had two/three good ones recently and I can only remember the one of them, which I woke up feeling stiff.

I’ll set the scene first.

It’s in my old primary school, in the playground, which, from the perspective of a 4-5 year old, was quite large and open spaced (although in my dreams everything feels wide and distorted). Big trees used to line the walls and had benches around them, which is the main focus on my dream. Which, as a warning to anyone who stumbles across this, is only a dream! It’s not real, so… uh, don’t get offended

The playground is empty, and I am standing by the wooden “bus” plaything with my Nan. Out of nowhere, my eldest brother walks into view, sits on the tree bench and stuffs something underneath it. I go over and snatch the package he is trying to hide away from him. It’s drugs. I go mental. He confesses that he’s been dealing in drugs for money. His Fiancee comes onto the scene; she’s been doing it as well. I’m furious. I tell my Mum, but she doesn’t seem to care.

I’m now in my room stressing, as my criminal brother is in the house. I know I can’t live here anymore and I’m stressing about what to do. My Nan comes up and shuts the door and talks to me in hushed tones, telling me that I have to secretly leave the house and run away. She tells me to go to her place (which in real life is only down the road!) and she’ll take things from there. She leaves and I rush to gather bags together, and start to pack away all of my things that I think necessary to bring. I start to imagine (in my dream) where I’m going to travel, if I have enough money on my Oyster, and what I’m going to do once at my Nans. I woke up soon after.

There was a lot of stress on the excitement of adventure, of that feeling you get up your spine when sneaking around, worried someone is right behind you. I think that’s what made me wake up tense!

Pulling teeth

I’m such a geek. I ordered this t-shirt the otherday *hee*.

Anyway, dreamage.

I don’t remember an insane amount of it, there was only two “significant” scenes and the rest I’m straining to remember.

I’ll set the scene. It’s in a spars forest, snow covered, and I am with other people (I’m not sure who they are) and we are all running away from something. There are bits that remind me of one of the levels on Mario Kart DS. I think it’s DKs snow mountain during one of the missions where you racing him doing the track backwards. Anywho, I end up in a log cabin, but the previous “story” seems to have vanished and I’m there with some of my old friends (Simon, Lauren, Nick and Joe) and we’re helping Lauren stack up all of these CD cases in wooden boxes. She starts to take pictures and I pose pointing up Simon’s nose for one of them.

The next part is set in my house and I’m looking in the mirror in the hallway. I’m looking at one of my teeth that for some strange reason is twisted, so I start playing with it, and watch as my gum around it moves. Then suddenly my tooth snaps off. I run into the kitchen (I’m not in pain, and the tooth just popped out freely!) and tell my Mum who doesn’t really think it that big a deal.

I wake up soon after.

Wtf dreams

Insane dream last night, and I literally just woke up and just HAVE to write about it before I forget.

The first dream was weird. I sort of remember something to do with uni, and uni friends being there, but I really, really can’t remember what it was. Then it sort of changed to something where I was in this dark area. Lots of green. Outside, as though in some Aztec jungle ruins, with platforms and water (I really don’t know why my dreams take on the form of Playstation games, but it reminded me of Crash Bandicoot crossed with TR!). Anyway, I’m almost certain friends are with me, and we’ve reached a point in our travels where we have to climb onto a square platform, and wait for this floating moving platform to reach us before we jump onto it and reach the other side. I, at this point, decide I couldn’t be bothered. I know something happens, I think animals appear, because the next sequence of the dream is about me looking after a little pet Hedgehog! The only significant thing about this Hedgehog is that I can cuddle it and stuff, as for some odd reason it isn’t prickly, but does have sort of spiky looking fur… Anyway. The part of my dream takes me into my kitchen where I’m trying to find a box I can put him in whilst I find something for him to eat. I proceed to put him in a small lunch box, and try to put on the lid, think better of it, and then give up, and just leave him to run on the counter top, where he finds a small cup with removed bits of cooked diced Onions, corn and something else and eats it. So I, next to a half eaten plate of dinner, see runner beans, so I take them off the plate and peel them open and add them to the pot for it to eat (I was going to find the Hedgehog cat food as apparently that’s what you leave out for them if you get Hedgehog’s in your garden). I then think, oh! I better get him something to drink, and then find a saucer and get some milk out of my fridge, but I decide the milk is cold, so I put the milk AND THE HEDGEHOG in the microwave. WHAT THE HELL!? Needless to say the cute hedgehog dies. lol. That’s wasn’t nice.

I woke up at this point because my ring on my finger was irritating me in my sleep and I was trying to get it off.

Next dream sequence was sort of two merged into one.

It started off standing outside in the street by a Station I always go to, except I’m not in the actual ring road that goes through the circular Station, but on the other side of the small shops, in the road where you can park. There is a small “Fancy Dress” shop there (it’s more dance clothes and other strange things as well as), and I enter, looking for a costume. This place, however, is huge as they’ve had a re-fit, and I stand there looking at a Batman t-shirt where the logo is purple. This tall blonde woman comes over and asks me if I’m okay, and tells me to come further into the shop. I look around, and there are loads of strange costumes hung up like clothes all over the place. Lots of frilly Tu-Tu’s in shimmery rainbow colours. Anyway, I notice this stand of what could be toys, but are actually costume accessories for the Characters from Beyblade, but not with the actual Beyblades but some sort of strange floating firespirit, and an “arm” fixture, to make the firespirit float. It was all very strange. Anyway, I go for Kai’s, as he’s my favourite, and I start to question if it’s his or something, so we open the box up and I laugh at the strange hand fixture (it’s like a long bit of dark blue plastic with three movable plastic bits at the end). Something happens here and they take over Kai’s Beyblade to one of those battle dome’s, but it’s not really, as it has moving plates, and little “buttons” that move around on it with the Character’s from Beyblade’s bit beasts pictures on them. Anyway, I release Kai’s beyblade and watch is go around landing on the other characters buttons, until it lands on Kai’s and the button launches it in the air to confirm it is Kai’s. That settles whatever dispute I had I go and buy the weird accessory. As I leave the shop, there is a strange smell in the air, and it is coming from this posh looking new Bar that has opened on the opposite side of the street. There are people sitting outside with coffee’s looking a bit bemused, and I squint in through the window, but it is too dark to see inside. All I can see is the light from the backlit tables behind the bar. I decide to venture in to see what is the problem, and go into the toilets. These toilets have bright pink stalls, and a dark marble floor. They are large, and set out in a backward L shape, the door being in the bottom bend of the L. Forwards, up the “back” of the L shape, are stalls, which are set on a small raised floor. The bottom part of the L, along with the door, isn’t, but has other stalls and then basins etc running in line with the door. There is a lot of commotion by the forward “raised” stalls in here, and a woman leaves the cubical looking a little worse for wear. Someone takes her out, but this isn’t the problem (and this is where it gets weird), but Eminem… has locked himself in a disabled cubical around the corner, claiming he won’t come out until someone brings him a Mother. What. The. Hell. All these women are crowded around outside, trying to get him to come out, and I decide to go over. He opens the door a crack and repeats what I already know “I’m not coming out until someone give me a Mom!”. I say nothing, hold out my hand, and nod my head, saying in no words that I can get him one. He takes my hand, wearily, and I lead him over to my own Mum who is standing by the door, watching, worried, from a distance. I introduce them, and he gives her a hug. I leave. This part is fuzzy. I remember something about being pissed off that he’s stolen my Mum when it was my fault they were introduced. The last part I remember is walking through the bar, which was very open plan. It was darkly lit, with again, dark marble flooring, a carpet/dark mat by the doors, the front of the shop all windows, and what wall space they had decorated a soft yellow. The main part of the bar was also on a raised step.

And that’s all I remember of my craaaaazy dreams!

Flying high in dreamland skies

I had a flying dream! I had it quite a while ago but I’ve only just found time to write about it.

The start is fuzzy. From what I recall I was in this area that looked, from my memory, a bit like an area in Whitechapel at night after it had been raining. Backstreet-ish, the ground damp, everywhere blue/purple from the moonlight, glistening orange from the streetlights. I’m with my Mum, and I’m telling her that I can fly, but for some reason I can’t get off the ground, but there is a hole that I can drop through, to a ledge below (for some strange reason this open space between buildings is floating?? Or a cliff edge, Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner style cliff, haha.  Sorta like a bit at the beginning of Floating Islands on TR:2, but not really). I try to fit down the hole but my hips are too wide and I can’t get through. The dream changes slightly, and I’m with friends (uni friends, although I can only place Ameena and Lone), it’s still slightly dark, but we are down a cobbled street rather than the dark backstreet, and get this… we are with Jonathan Ross and his wife! We then go into a tea shop, but it has no tables just stacks of boxes, and we’re all excited to be with him (as he seems to be with us!), and I then go on to show that I can fly, so I climb the boxes and jump off and manage to glide, skimming the floor before landing.

The dream them morphs again, and I’m looking at myself from out of my body. It’s set, and this is hard to explain, on some sort of metal structure. A bit like the gas dome things, but without the middle, just the metal girder frame, but in the middle is some sort of suspended floating thing, is a large piece of purple rock with a flattened top, like a platform. This is where I, and two others, are kneeling, head and hands on the floor (like we are bowing) to someone in a black cloak (they are evil presumably). Something in my dream tells me it’s like a Disney film (some Disney film! But the cartoon (as everything is cartoon, obviously) is more like the animation for Anastasia). ANYWAY. We (the three of us), have lost against this evil person, and then suddenly the floor falls away and the two people behind me fall to their death, although instead of actually dying, they start to circulate the metal structure, around and around, along with the broken bits of purple rock. The evil guy flies off and suddenly I’m flying around in a circle around this weird place (a bit like those round-a-bout swing things at fun fairs, but obviously it’s just me flying singularly). Each time I try to land the floor falls away and I’m off flying again, and so this is my demise. Like a seal has to come up for air, I have to land, and so eventually all the floor falls away…

Then suddenly this area is a FILM SET! I’m strapped into a harness (from my point of view) pissing around, swinging around, and the other two good guys are there… ONE OF THEM IS JACKSON RATHBONE! SCORE.

End dream

Vampire Dreams

In brief, my dream started off out shopping with my Mum. We were in H&M and there were loads of people walking around playing hand held games. It was like a craze and I wanted one. So we looked everywhere around H&M, and went downstairs where I got distracted by slogan t-shirts (and particularly one with Ghost Rider on it).

Dream morphs and I’m in my house. It’s a sunny day and I’m in my garden, except my garden looks different. The side fences are there but the back fence isn’t, instead it’s open and there is a forest of some sorts there. I’m at the back top of my garden before the fold of trees and I’m with people, who I can’t properly identify but I know are vampires. There is something significant about what is happening. I look through the trees looking for something. A waterfall? And take pictures, but the pictures are of large tree roots and broken trees. I’m not sitting on the grass with the vampires and my Dad comes up to his shed, smiles at me and gets something from inside, but things are hanging up in there, like merchandise in a shop. No garden tools. Next I quickly go into my house for something, and the next instant I look out my window and everywhere is covered in snow. I look down to the garden to see my parents outside and my brother, who is shoveling snow off the path.
Next I’m at my front door, but it’s sunny again, hot, (I’m in summer clothes, a loose blouse and rolled up trousers) and my parents and brother are going out (there is still thick snow, but on my doorstep, around me, is like summer). I wave them off, and my Mum asks if I have my keys. I says yes, but shut the front door. Laugh and say “silly me! I’ve shut myself out! They keys are inside!” so my Mum has to come back over from the car to let me in.

Then I woke.

Like A Map Without Place Names

Well, it felt nice not having to do those newspapers by myself, but I don’t know, I think I was expecting more from my day off. It was nice to “sleep in”, but I was awake by 9 o’clock anyway. I got the chance to see my Nan whom I haven’t seen for a while.

I… felt a bit pants the other day. Emotionally, it seems things have been building up inside of me. I’m glad I was on my own when they ran out of space =\
It’s just, I’ve come to realise, that everything has become an effort. I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed in the morning anymore. I lay there, wanting to turn over and sleep my time away, so I don’t have to face the day. I’ve not felt like that in a while. I worry about what will happen in the day, and just give up before I’ve even bothered to face it.
I can’t really describe in so many words exactly how I feel. Vulnerable, mostly. I don’t take things as lighthearted as I used to. And I frequently revisit this feeling that I need to be looked after. My inner self is small and cowering.
I don’t feel as secure as I used to. This year has been such a whirlwind for me socially, and don’t get me wrong I’m even impressed myself that I’m not as much of a social reject as I used to be. I’ve grown up! How about that?! But although I know I should be enjoying myself, I can’t seem to. I have a fricking awesome time at Innerpartysystem. I really needed something like that since my last concert was Nightwish over 4 years ago… But even after that this horrible, horrible feeling loomed over my head and refused to let me fully enjoy myself.
I want to be happy, but something internally isn’t let me and I don’t what it is, or why or how I can stop it.
So when I try I just seem to be looking forwards and upwards and be walking up a down escalator.

I always imagine this hand tapping me on the shoulder and I look up and they take my small hand in their warm big one and pull me up off the floor and with it this metaphorical shroud of problems falls off my shoulders and is left on the floor as I’m guided away…

Gads. How do I stop the constriction in my chest? How do I stop me from living inside my head? How do I stop myself from being such an easy target? How do I make myself strong again? How can I let myself be happy?
How?